new year, new ... ?

New Year, not so New Me.

What the heck. Not going to pretend that I'll reinvent myself or make whatever sort of changes imaginable in the coming year. What I do want though, is to grow in any way I can without trying to manipulate and analyse every little move I make.  Looking back, I can't believe it has already been nearly seven months since graduating high school. And here I am, 1.5 months left in my beloved Switzerland before heading off to unknown land. But that'll be a whole other post for itself, just wait for it.

Instead of putting the time leading up to now into words (I'm simply to tired and would have no clue on how to pack seven months into a couple of paragraphs) I tried to put some shots together I took on my new GoPro (yay) and a new compact camera, Sony RX100 iii (#loveofmylife, but wasn't able to shoot a lot with it yet!)

Here's a little clip of moments I was somehow able to capture, wish it was more, but that's just how it is. 

Hasta luego,

x J

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thoughts #1

Well hello.

Small remark: this fancy little post was written a couple months back. never got myself around to actually making it public but two months later i'm just thinking: why not. looking back i'll be glad to have gotten even the slightest thing off my chest (:

I'm back, for now. And before you continue reading some of my unnecessary, deep thoughts let me just suggest you press that orange play button below to get into the mood. Lovely song, lovely voice and lovely artist. Worth a listen.

Soooo, where have I been? Prepare yourself for a long-ass rant, just a jumble of words that somehow formed in my brain and I haven't read again after jotting them into my keybord. Apologies in advance (for the incomprehensibleness, is that even a word?).




One way it seems as if I've been all over the place, doing this, trying to organize that and constantly on the go. But somehow the last couple of months seemed to me as if I've been stuck in one place. Literally glued to the concrete and not being able to move on. Have to admit though, half the time I wasn't actually sure how and where I wanted to move, but the motion itself was something I craved. It felt as if the world threw everything at me at once. Ideas, thoughts, doubts, a never ending stream and I simply wasn't able to keep up and digest anything in that moment. Looking back at the last two months, I feel like I can only make out some sort of fuzzy cloud with events and days all blending into one another and I don't like it and it needs to change.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Procrastination, a term I thought to have had enough of a close relationship with during my high school years, seemed to have crept up on me and caused some unnecessary stress as well. Whether it was uni applications (still not completed!), future plans, driving lessons, eating, or anything I set my mind to, that same glue holding me captive didn't allow me to do any of that. There was always something in the back of my mind nagging me, pushing and reminding me there's this to do and that to think of, especially at nighttime, no better time for overthinking, yay. I guess the "glue" I'm referring to is basically me trying to blame something else instead of myself for not doing what I'm not only supposed to, but actually want to do. But I guess I'll just go with the "glue" as I'm kind of liking it.

Listening to the track above while writing puts me in a funnily broody and melancholic mood, I'm just gonna go with the flow.   but I just feel like I've got to get this, whatever it is out of my system and jotted down for me to look back onto in the future.

I've go to get some order in my thoughts. Here's a list of things/causes for current state of mind, basically why I think I fell into this funk (with  = GLUE

1.thoughts provoked by essena oneill - social media
in order not to actually have ot put up with my real life I guess I've been escaping into cyber world. something i could write a whole nother post on but won't

2.self doubt
stuck inside my small little head, overthinking, overanalising, wanting to do so much.
can't really say much about it, but i'm getting there

3.uni/music/future/plans
stressing me out in so many ways although I know it's what I want to do

4.creativity
needing some sort of creative outled. music, writing, photography, filmmaking. loving them but feeling as if I'm not good enough, lack of creativity and skills

I think I knew beforehand that wiriting down some of my chaotic thoughts might help me bring back some much needed order (i'm a virgo...) into my system and life. Somehow having not set myself goals, deadlines or clear things of what I wanted lead to me losing some sort of control, and control of life is just something I needed. And I guess as a task to keep me motivated I'm going to try to do weekly, bi-weekly posts, which aren't life-changing, thought-provoking subjects but maybe just some random rants, ideas and thoughts; what my blog, I guess was originally was to be about.

“Over thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, twists it around, makes you worry, and just makes everything much worse that it actually ever is.”

Read an interesting post on Ella's blog, so give it a read. weneedtolivemore - thoughts
Might just feel a bit chaotic since my hair's a huge mess (curly curls = no chance of detangling), gotta figure that shit out, my room's a mess and so is my bed. Gonna light some candles (looooove nothing more), listen to some souly sounds and get some order into my room, stretch and let my mind do whatever it wants. It'll figure itself out.

Time to live more, do whatever I want and not constantly worry about the future. Yes it's important but gotta just live in the NOW and see what the future will bring. Got some new tunes on soundcloud and will definitely keep on posting, maybe even with some originals (:

A finally-at-ease, motivated and happy goodbye,

J xx

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#1 Homeland Discoveries: Biel

Another week has passed and I was set out on another adventure. This time with a fellow friend of mine in tow. Having lived in Switzerland for so many years, we both realized that we simply have not seen everything this beautiful country had to offer. And now was the time to change that. We found a date, bought our train tickets and soon enough we were on our way to the first stop in our Homeland Discoveries; Biel/Bienne, what a city!

Without a plan in mind or any ideas what we could do in Biel as we exited the main train station we took a look to the left, to the right and then just followed the stream of people into the center of the city. Funnily, that day a culture event was organized. Ethnicities from all over the world that lived in and around Biel met up, set up their stands (where they sold lovely little snacks and bits and pieces) and played their music. It was a delight to experience something like that, especially considering the difficulties at the moment for minorities and the refugees in Switzerland. I couldn't believe how happy everyone there looked. Whether it was a Ethiopian family next to Croats, in between Tibetans and Somalians, they and even the Swiss seemed to get along just fine and together enjoyed a sunny day at the river.  

After walking along the shopping street, that would have eventually lead us to the Old Town *cough* that my dear friend Viviane however, didn't seem to believe, we walked back to the train station, elegantly taking a U-turn and soon found us at the lake. It was a beautiful sight, especially considering the fact that the lake compared to land sights of lake Zurich was encased by little mountains and just gave off completely different vibes than we knew.

We rested our bones and joints at the lake for a while and then gathered ourselves up back again towards the train station. A map was needed so we informed ourselves and again strolled down the shopping street we took before. (; Finally, we found what we were looking for. The historic centre of Biel, and let me tell you, it was a sight to behold. The buildings, little niches and alleys completely captivated me and if I could, I would move into one of the top flats with a roof-deck in no time. Having been on the move since the early hours we soon felt ourselves getting a little hungry. Now we were two animals on the hunt for food.

We asked a local sitting on a cosy chair in front of his house where he'd recommend us to have a little bite. And the restaurant St. Gervais was where we ended up at. It was absolutely delicious and even now typing it makes my mouth water again.

With a full stomach and satisfied in every way, the exploration continued. I had a bit of fit, probably due to the enormous amounts of food I had just consumed, and desperately wanted to mount a fountain. I failed. Nevertheless, we found a couple more beautiful spots and even entered a church, right at the center of the old town, in which we surprisingly found a fish tank with a lonesome fish. Poor guy.

All in all, I again had the pleasure of visiting an amazing place, which didn't even require me to board a plane. Seeing as we had an amazing day, laughing our heads off 80% of the time and simply enjoyed our adventure, Viviane and my tours of Switzerland definitely haven't found an end yet and I'm excited where our travels will lead us next.

Lots of love,

J x

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cologne

And once again my alarm went off at the most ungodly hour in the morning. 4:27 am. That was when I dragged myself out of the warmth and comfort of my beloved bed and tried to get myself ready for the adventure ahead of me.

A couple of weeks ago when I celebrated my 19th birthday, yay, as a present one of my aunts invited me to accompany her on a weekend trip to Cologne. Of course, I couldn't pass this chance. And seeing as this also was a last minute decision all that was left for me to do was book a train ticket from Zurich straight to Cologne, rather than spending a couple of zeroes more on an overpriced plane-ticket.

So last week the time had come for me to board the Eurocity train at 6:00 am in Zurich. Train journeys always had a capturing flair for me and allowed me to either shut myself away from the world with a pair of headphones, bluntly taking in my surroundings (and ever surprising train companions) or simply immersing myself in a lovely book. And that was exactly what I did for the next five hours. Soon enough, after seeing the sun rise over Frankfurt and passing Karlsruhe and Mannheim I suddenly found myself in Cologne. With luggage and map in hand I first of tried to navigate myself out of the train station. Not wanting to go through any more struggles after that rather challenging task I rewarded myself by taking a taxi to our hostel 'die Wohngemeinschaft'.

Now, this hostel wasn't anything I expected. As the name itself says it is constructed as some sort of flat share. There are single, double or bigger rooms each assigned different themes out of which we got the six bed ballet themed room. An absolute delight. Everything was arranged in a retro and late 80's kind of way which a total paradise for a blogger like me.

Honestly, all we did the first day was explore and shop. Pascale, my aunt is an even bigger shopping queen than I could ever be, and we both found and spent more than enough. From Pfeilstrasse up to the Dome we seemed to have walked miles and miles and saw shops - which to my delight - couldn't be found anywhere in Switzerland.

Cologne is beautiful in it's small and intimate kind of way. It reminded me a bit of Berlin with its the little boutiques, old buildings and lovely cafes. Although it isn't as fast and international in comparison it still held this great appeal, which will definitely lead me to come back again (great apologies to my bank account in advance) very soon.

After having feasted on a great meal the night before, on Saturday we made our way over to the yoga studio right across the street. However, it wasn't just an ordinary studio that offered the basic yoga classes but actual Hot Yoga, which I can tell you, I greatly underestimated. When Pascale suggested to take such a class I simply shrugged it off and thought, why not, I'll be able to tick it off my bucket litst. During Hot Yoga (also known as Bikram Yoga) the room is heated up to 40° Celsius throughout the whole 1.5 hours. I don't think I have ever shed so much sweat in those 1.5 h in my life. Even the lean and fit bodies in front of me had river like sweat trails floating down there legs in the down dog position. It was unbelievably hard to pull through without giving up but looking back and also the feeling after having mastered such a class, was incredible and if I find the time, I actually might start taking some classes in Zurich.

Check out the studio we went to in Cologne here.

Needing to get in those carbs after such a draining morning, we set out again and explored Cologne some more. Wherever you go, there are wonderful little streets and cafes to discover, seemingly never ending but that's exactly what I loved about it. 

I could go on and on about Cologne in my little rant, but I think for now and the short time I spent there this most definitely is enough and perhaps in the future I'll give a more detailed insight in my shopping experience over there (;

Not sure where my travels will lead me next but I'll sure try to keep you posted within the next week.

Until then,

J

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Changes

Couple of changes taking place on some thoughts of now. Mainly Layout updates and restructuring. Don't you worry though, my Cologne post should be up in the next couple of days.

Until then,

J

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